The BBC reports that Westminster council are putting out a leaflet to warn foreign tourists about clip joints. Experience says they should probably start with naive young British boys. For it's twenty one years too late for me!

My first Christmas out of school was in London, three months into a job with a jobbers' firm on the Stock Exchange. I had one mate that I knew of from school in London, who was studying at the Royal College of Music or somewhere like that. The night I got my Christmas/annual bonus we decided to go to the West End. We were determined to go to the Soho highlight of the day, Raymond's Review Bar.

Well we got to the Review Bar and some bloke out the front dressed up in dicky bow and so on said "I wouldn't go in there chaps, it's gay night on Fridays, I'll show you a better place". Oh dear! We dutifully followed him. Duke Street I think it was, and a downstairs bar. Only a fiver to get in - what value! But then...

The only drink we could afford was the nastiest cheap German white wine on sale at £30 per bottle I think it was. Then these two "young ladies" came to our table. We didn't really know what they wanted, but let them sit down and be sociable. We went to share some wine with them...quick as a shot the boss comes over and says "Oh, no, sirs, the girls only drink Champagne". So we agreed - at £50 a bottle (this is 1985 remember).

Anyway - we didn't stay long. And the guy came over with a bill for us...for £200 - exactly my bonus (so much for million pound bonuses in the city!). I had to write four £50 cheques - three of them post-dated - so I could use my guarantee card. And that was my Christmas bonus. Of course, I would rather have been in Mr Raymond's gay night all along!